


If Wishes

by Medie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Community: fandom_stocking, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-30
Updated: 2010-03-30
Packaged: 2017-10-08 13:00:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/75891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medie/pseuds/Medie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>she's kind of obsessed with most things Castiel</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Wishes

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://noveltea.livejournal.com/profile)[**noveltea**](http://noveltea.livejournal.com/) for [](http://community.livejournal.com/fandom_stocking/profile)[**fandom_stocking**](http://community.livejournal.com/fandom_stocking/)

*

She leaves.

Ducking into an alley, Deanna leans against the brick and closes her eyes. The beat of the music pounds through the wall behind her, loud enough that she can almost feel it over the lingering press of bodies and skin.

Over the nearness of Castiel's presence.

She twists her lips into a smirk. "You know, you're getting to be a real buzz kill."

"You shouldn't be here," he says, the silk of his tie brushing her forearm.

Deanna presses her fingers into the brick, feels their sharp edges dig at her skin and tries not to squirm. He's close enough that his breath disturbs her hair, tickling it over her skin and raising gooseflesh.

She shivers. "Neither should you."

He huffs. It might be a laugh. "I'm where you are. You know that."

"Do I?" Deanna asks, not opening her eyes. It's easier this way. She doesn't have to look at him, see the persistent worry in his borrowed gaze. "For a guardian angel, you're pretty inconsistent in your guarding."

"I'm -- "

"Yeah, I know." She opens her eyes, finally looking at him. "I've heard the lecture. The thing is, do you have to show up when I'm at a club? That guy was -- "

Castiel glowers. "Trouble. You should not be courting such attention, Deanna."

Laughing, she turns to face him. Her shoulder scratches the wall, the pain piercing the alcohol-induced fog around her brain. "Maybe that's the point." She reaches out, tugging on the tie. She's starting to get a little obsessed with it, but she's kind of obsessed with most things Castiel. It's become a not-so-casual hobby with her, speculating about all the things that she can't see and shouldn't want to know. "Didn't anybody up there tell you? I like courting trouble. Kinda how I ended up where I did in the first place."

He smiles. "No it isn't."

She shrugs. "Close enough. I'm betting more than a few of us end up down there."

Castiel's smile fades. She's scored points with that one, but it's a hollow victory. When Deanna blinks, her father looks at her from her memories and she's left to swallow around a sudden lump in her throat. "Too many," he admits. "Your choices -- "

"Are what I'm getting at." Deanna lets his tie slip through her fingers. Teasing him isn't as fun anymore. "They're my choices. I spent forty years in Hell, think it's not too much trouble I get five minutes to have some fun?"

Deanna shakes her head. She sounds like a fucking whiner and she knows it. "Look, I just needed to clear my head and that guy?" She tries to smile, remembering stubble against her neck and hands on her hips. "That guy's just what the doctor ordered."

Hesitating, she looks him square in the eye. "You wouldn't understand. I just need something in my head that isn't screaming or the mission." Somewhere along the line, the two got mixed together anyway. She thinks of Sam and what he's playing with, of Lilith and Ruby, and of blood, fire, and pain.

Her smile is shaky and her nerves are screaming for the glass of Jack she left behind. "Please," she says, taking a step back. "Just let me have this?"

Deanna could hate him for this, for dragging this out of her. Castiel and those damn eyes of his are almost as bad as Sam's, he looks at her and she can't say no.

She wants to laugh, but can't find it in herself.

With a muttered, "Whatever," Deanna pushes away from the wall, only to be stopped by Castiel's hand.

"As you wish," he says, drawing her back. Close enough that she's sure, somewhere, Uriel's having an angelic hissyfit. This has to be breaking about twenty different angelic rules of etiquette. Maybe a few commandments as well.

His fingers brush her lips briefly, stilling any attempt at questions before following the line of her nose to touch her forehead. "I have never wished before," he murmurs. "In all my existence, I have known no need to."

She swallows, nerves making it difficult. "Until now."

Castiel nods. "I wish it were possible to take the memory from you, but since I cannot -- "

He kisses her.


End file.
